OWNER'S MANUAL AND GUIDE
by Min Daae
Summary: From the company that brought you PHANTOM OF THE OPERA and LORD OF THE RINGS owner's guides, now introducing: NEW WHEEL OF TIME units! Featuring: Mat, Rand, Nynaeve, Avi. THIS CHAPTER: Only slightly off topic: NEW MAKE YOUR OWN AES SEDAI! R&R.
1. Mat Unit

_A/N: Thanks to Theresa Green for letting me borrow her idea and formatting! -blows kisses- enjoy, and drop a review by!_

_**CONGRATULATIONS**!_

You are now the proud owner of our brand new MAT© unit (by the people that brought you the ERIK, LEGOLAS, and BOROMIR© units)! In order to obtain top performance from your MAT© unit, please follow the procedures detailed in this manual to use your new Wheel of Time gambler to his full potential.

Your MAT© unit should arrive fully assembled. Please check that you have all his accessories (see specially chosen list below). Currently there is only one version of this new creation (though more may be produced in the future):

MAT© v. 1.1 (Copyright Robert Jordan, 1990

**TECHNICAL** **SPECIFICATIONS**

Name: _Matrim Cauthon (a.k.a Mat)_

Type: _Human _

Manufacturers: _Cauthon Children and Co._

Date of Manufacture:_1990_

Description: _wiry, about 5'11" with brown eyes and dark hair. Weighs about 160 pounds, about 20 years old._

**ACCESSORIES**

Your MAT© unit will arrive in a crate roughly in the shape of a twisted red doorway. He will be fully clothed in authentic clothing and comes with the accessories of:

broad brimmed hat, black

_ashanderei, _black

scarf, black

set of six dice

Your MAT© unit will arrive to you in his factory condition of travel-stained. It is recommended that you immediately remove his clothing and put him into a hot soapy bubble bath. This will keep his moving parts in pristine condition and fully functional.

CAUTION Married/committedMAT owners **must** ensure that their spouses are otherwise engaged in dangerous and/or engaging activities, such as crocodile hunting, television watching, or Sims 2 before carrying out this procedure. This company is not held responsible for divorce costs due to careless execution of any of the following procedures in the company of jealous housemates.

NOTE: You may have noticed that we did not provide a bottle of chloroform, as in our ARAGORN and ERIK units. This is because our MAT© unit will much appreciate being bathed, especially if you are female and pretty. So, you may activate your MAT© unit before bathing if you wish, and it is more likely that he will fall in love with you.

**OPERATING PROCEDURE**

Your MAT© has been designed to be user-friendly and efficient, which means that his temperament is much the same, but swear words have been substituted by bleeps or asterisks, in case of the presence of small children. His controls are voice activated. Please state your instructions clearly in English or Old Tongue. If you do not happen to know Old Tongue, we recommend that you purchase the Old Tongue Dictionary©, created by the same manufacturers that give you your unit, as the MAT© unit seems to prefer this second language to the first during conversations.

You might have your own ideas about the services that you would like your MAT© to provide and the location in which such procedures should be carried out, which will not be mentioned here as young children could get a hold of this packet. He can also be utilized in several capacities about the house:

**Card Playing/Dice Companion: **

Your MAT© unit's specialty is at gambling of any sort, and may be useful in teaching your older children about the finer points of gambling. However, he will usually win, so do not let your children that cannot stand to lose play with him. In addition, we recommend that you watch this activity carefully, so the MAT© unit will not teach the children about cheating at these games.

**Horse Racing Trainer:**

Another of your MAT© unit's specialties is working with horses. Give him a good horse and a race track, and in mere days he will have your children racing like pros! He might also make a good companion when shopping for that perfect horse, as his good eye for these animals has been incorporated into his programming.

**Defense/Guardian:**

Fretting over finding a babysitter? Fear no more! Your MAT© unit has been equipped with the skill to defend and attack anyone that threatens his owner/owner's possessions. Leave him home with your children and do not worry for their safety!

Note: This company is not responsible for bad habits learned from this MAT© unit, which may include drinking, gambling, and chasing women. However, with younger children, our MAT© has been trained to tone down his bad habits and teach more age appropriate lessons.

**COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS**

You will find that your MAT© unit is compatible with most other Wheel of Time units, including RAND, PERRIN, TUON, and BIRGITTE units©. The only units we do not recommend for use with your MAT© unit are NYNAEVE and TYLIN units, both of which aggravate your MAT© unit and lower his level of happiness, thus making his performance less satisfactory.

**PRECAUTIONS**

Do not expose your MAT© to fire, strong magnetic fields, electricity, or excessive humidity.

We advise that you not expose MAT© to a TUON© unit, as he will eventually fall in love and leave you to search for the Seanchan empire with her, or with the TYLIN© unit, for though he dislikes her, she will take valued time with your MAT© unit away from you.

**CLEANING**

MAT© does not require frequent washing, but if you insist on washing him, he will appreciate it duly, as noted above. This activity may be even more successful if you also take off your clothes and get in the bath with him, thus assuring him that the water is safe.

**FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS**

**Q:** MAT© has begun referring to himself as the Prince of Ravens and is continually muttering to himself. He has also begun to spend less time with me. Should I be worried?

**A:** Your MAT© unit has probably come into contact with a TUON© unit. You may wish to sever these ties at once. If you yourself own a TUON© unit, you may wish to return it. However, do not prohibit him from visiting her – simply tell him that he does not need to follow his destiny, and he will gladly return home with you. If this relationship has progressed to the point of true love, it may be impossible to separate your MAT© and the TUON© unit, and a small _Memory Revision Drive™ _may be necessary to erase all memory of each other from both parties.

**Q:** My MAT© is spending a lot of time in taverns and is suddenly receiving large sums of money. Is this normal?

**A:** Yes, this is perfectly normal. Do not prevent him from these activities, as that will lower his happiness rate, but you may wish to accompany him on these expeditions to watch over him.

**Q:** Should I allow my MAT© to practice quarterstaff fighting with my children?

**A:** You may wish to supervise such activities, but do not fear your children getting hurt. Your MAT© has been equipped with a special device that will prevent him from harming any child of yours. However, if you wish, you may turn him loose on the neighborhood bully, in which case he may deliver a few short whacks before allowing his victim to continue on, as he will exercise due constraint of violence on children not your own.

**TROUBLESHOOTING**

**Problem:** I have caught my MAT© cheating on me several times.

**Solution:** This is, unfortunately, normal behavior for your MAT© unit, and may not be corrected. However, he may be prevented from this behavior, if you take several baths with him, and then when you catch him cheating again, you ignore him for several days. Because of MAT©'s social programming, he will not be able to tolerate this, and will struggle to get back into your good graces.

**Problem:** My husband/wife/partner is ignoring me and has recently filed for divorce.

**Solution:** Ask yourself whether you may be spending too much time with your MAT© unit and have been neglecting your spouse. If so, you may wish to deactivate your MAT© unit and spend some quality time with your other if you wish to repair this marriage. If that doesn't work, the MAT© unit is perfect for comforting recent divorcees.

**Problem:** My MAT© is becoming rather big-headed and arrogant because of the fanfiction written about him.

**Solution:** You may wish to show him some Mat character slash fanfiction, and this will quickly turn him off the internet.

**Problem:** MAT© has recently been ignoring me and showing some perplexing interest in my neighbor's RAND© unit. They have been spending hours together.

**Solution:** Quickly check if the SLASH settings are on. This is not recommended because of the tendencies of the RAND© units to go insane.

**Problem: **I can't understand what my MAT© unit is saying!

**Solution: **The "Old Tongue: Permanent" settings are probably set. You may wish to change them to "Old Tongue: Optional" if you are not fluent in this language. However, we recommend that you purchase the _Old Tongue Dictionary™, _as MAT© units prefer to speak in this language.

**FINAL NOTE**

Because of the extreme luck of the MAT© unit, we have decided that we will guarantee the working condition of this product for approximately twenty more years, or until Tarmon Gai'don. If for any reason you are not satisfied, please send your MAT© WITH A WRITTEN LETTER OF YOUR PROBLEM via Alaska Airlines to:

COMPLAINTS OFFICE

P.O. Box 700

Randland, Norway

Or call at 1-866-375-WOT-COMP

And we will either replace or refund your product at an equal value.


	2. Rand Unit

_A/N: Thanks to Theresa Green and MetaChi for letting me borrow their idea and formatting! -blows kisses- enjoy, and drop a review by!_

_**CONGRATULATIONS**!_

You are now the proud owner of our brand new RAND© unit (by the people that brought you the ERIK, MAT, ARAGORN, and BOROMIR© units)! In order to obtain top performance from your RAND© unit, please follow the procedures detailed in this manual to use your new Dragon Reborn to his full potential.

Your RAND© unit should arrive fully assembled. Please check that you have all his accessories (see specially chosen list below). Currently there is only one version of this new creation (though more may be produced in the future):

RAND© v. 1.1 (Copyright Robert Jordan, 1990)

**TECHNICAL** **SPECIFICATIONS**

Name: _Rand al'Thor (a.k.a. The Dragon Reborn)_

Type: _Human _

Manufacturers: _Dragonmount Inc._

Date of Manufacture:_1990_

Description: _gray eyes, red hair. About 6'5 or 6'6" tall and weighs 235 pounds. Approximately 20 years old with dragon tattoos on arms and heron brands on both hands._

**ACCESSORIES**

Your RAND© unit will arrive fully clothed in authentic red coat in a crate the shape of a mountain. He will arrive with the following accessories:

Dragon Scepter, stainless steel

Crown of Swords, gold

Heron mark sword

Your RAND© unit will arrive to you in his factory condition of travel-stained. It is recommended that you immediately remove his clothing and put him into a hot soapy bubble bath. This will keep his moving parts in pristine condition and fully functional.

CAUTION Married/committed RAND©owners **must** ensure that their spouses are otherwise engaged in dangerous and/or engaging activities, such as crocodile hunting, television watching, or Sims 2 before carrying out this procedure. This company is not held responsible for divorce costs due to careless execution of any of the following procedures in the company of jealous housemates.

NOTE: Do not make the mistake of activating your unit before bathing, as with our recently released MAT© model. Your RAND© unit, unlike his friend, will NOT appreciate being bathed while activated, unless you happen to resemble either our MIN, AVIENDHA, or ELAYNE© models. If so, you may attempt this procedure after activation, though this company is not responsible for hospital fees due to this attempt.

**OPERATING PROCEDURE**

Your RAND© has been designed to be user friendly, which means that his temper has been toned down some. His controls are voice activated. Please state your instructions clearly in English. If you wish your RAND© to be fully operational and able to use _saidin, _you may activate the switch located on the back of his neck. However, this is not recommended for all users, due to the authentic tendencies of your RAND© unit to go insane.

You might have your own ideas about the services that you would like your RAND© to provide and the location in which such procedures should be carried out, which will not be mentioned here as young children could get a hold of this packet. He can also be utilized in a few capacities about the house:

**Fencing Trainer**

Your RAND© unit is authentically skilled at sword fighting, making him serve as an excellent trainer for your older child. However, he may occasionally lose his temper at incompetent learners, so we have included a release form to be signed and returned with the included envelope, stating that this company is not responsible for bruises, cuts, loss of limbs, or comas induced by your inexperienced child attempting to take lessons from your RAND© unit. This feature is, thus, only recommended for children with some prior fencing experience from ages 10 and up.

**House Cleaner**

Your RAND©, if his _saidin _capabilities are enabled, can simply whisk away all your mess in instants. This may be useful if you have very little times, but take note of the cautionary approach for enabling this use.

Note: Your RAND© unit is not recommended for uses with children, and is not as versatile for household uses as your other models you may have used in the past, including ERIK™ and MAT©. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO USE THIS MODEL FOR OTHER USES LISTED FOR DIFFERENT MODELS.

**COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS**

Your RAND© unit is not compatible with most units, except for our MIN, ELAYNE, and AVIENDHA units. Occasionally, LAN and EGWENE units may also be used, along with our new MAT© unit. However, use of the MOIRAINE©, SIUAN or other AES SEDAI models is not recommended under any circumstance.

**PRECAUTIONS**

Do not expose your RAND© to fire, strong magnetic fields, electricity, or excessive humidity.

If you wish to retain full loyalty of your RAND© model, you may wish to keep him from being exposed to our MIN, ELAYNE, and AVIENDHA models at all costs, as he will immediately fall in love with them and forget about you.

**CLEANING**

RAND© does not appreciate being washed, unless you resemble our MIN, ELAYNE or AVIENDHA models, as mentioned above. DO NOT CONFUSE YOUR RAND© MODEL WITH OUR RECENTLY RELEASED MAT© MODEL, as their bathing policies are utterly different.

**FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS**

**Q:** My RAND© has begun systematically destroying my house. What is happening?

**A:** Two possible things may have happened to trigger this violence. Either he has begun to go insane due to this model's chaotic nature, or your house resembles Shayol Ghul, the home of the Dark One. In either case, there is no way of remedying this situation aside from rebuilding your house. In the case of insanity, rebuilding your house will not work, but you may send your RAND©, SAFELY DEACTIVATED, back to the company and we will refund your purchase completely for an exchange of a safer model.

**Q:** My RAND© arrived without one of his hands. Why is my model flawed?

**A:** Congratulations! You have received a rare KNIFE OF DREAMS updated RAND© model. However, if you are displeased with this purchase, you may return your model for a full refund.

**Q:** My model keeps shooting me dark looks and muttering something about "Forsaken." Once, he even tried to attack me! Why is he doing this?

**A:** SEND YOUR MODEL BACK, IMMEDIATELY. You or your spouse probably resemble one of the Forsaken, who are set in relationships in RAND©'s programming as "Despised Enemies." You are in great danger. We will either replace your model or use a small _Memory Revision™ _drive to erase his memory of all Forsaken.

**TROUBLESHOOTING**

**Problem:** My RAND© keeps asking if he can get married to my MIN/ELAYNE/AVIENDHA© model while still married to me. What should I do?

**Solution:** Your RAND© has the extraordinary capability of being in love with more than one person at once. If having a fellow wife doesn't bother you, this would be a good idea to keep your RAND©'s happiness as high as possible. If you do not wish to share your husband, you may get rid of your model as quickly and scrumptiously as possible, and RAND© will quickly forget about them due to special programming.

**Problem:** My husband/wife/partner is ignoring me and has recently filed for divorce.

**Solution:** Ask yourself whether you may be spending too much time with your RAND© unit and have been neglecting your spouse. If so, you may wish to deactivate your RAND© unit and spend some quality time with your other if you wish to repair this marriage. If that doesn't work, you may wish to purchase a MAT© unit, as the MAT© unit is perfect for comforting recent divorcees – and the RAND© unit is less proficient at this skill.

**Problem:** RAND© suddenly left the other day, muttering about Tarmon Gai'don, and has not returned.

**Solution:** We are afraid that he has probably gone to fight the Dark One and may/may not be dead. Check back after book twelve on this one. But you may wish to purchase a different unit, such as the LEGOLAS© unit, in the mean time, as this company is not responsible for RAND© units lost in the fulfilling of prophecy.

**FINAL NOTE**

Unfortunately, your RAND© unit has no guarantee, due to his tendencies toward insanity and frequent instances of small Tarmon Gai'dones. If this is not satisfactory, or if for any reason you are not satisfied, please send your RAND©'s receipt of purchase WITH A WRITTEN LETTER OF YOUR PROBLEM via Alaska Airlines to:

COMPLAINTS OFFICE

P.O. Box 700

Randland, Norway

Or call at 1-866-375-WOT-COMP ext. RAND

And our RAND© secretary will be glad to either replace or refund your product at an equal value.


	3. Nynaeve Unit

_A/N: This is not mine. It belongs to those kind enough to lend it to me. i.e. Robert Jordan and Theresa Green. Any more questions?_

_**CONGRATULATIONS**!_

You are now the proud owner of our brand new NYNAEVE© unit (by the people that brought you the RAND, MAT, ARAGORN, and BOROMIR© units)! In order to obtain top performance from your NYNAEVE© unit, please follow the procedures detailed in this manual to use your new Wisdom to her full potential.

Your NYNAEVE© unit should arrive fully assembled. Please check that you have all her accessories (see specially chosen list below). Currently there is only one version of this new creation (though more may be produced in the future):

NYNAEVE© v. 1.1 (Copyright Robert Jordan, 1990)

NOTE: As this is one of our first female models, please follow the instructions carefully. This model is primarily recommended for females with easygoing temperaments (see Troubleshooting).

**TECHNICAL** **SPECIFICATIONS**

Name: _Nynaeve al'Meara_

Type: _Human _

Manufacturers: _Emond's Field & Co._

Date of Manufacture:_1984_

Description: _black hair, braided; small – about 5'2". Approximately 26 years old._

**ACCESSORIES**

Your NYNAEVE© will arrive in an authentic wool dress in a crate shaped like a house. She should arrive with the following accessories.

Chest of Assorted Silk Dresses

Extra Braids

Rope

Your NYNAEVE© unit will arrive in her condition of spic n' span. It is recommended that you activate her and allow her to bathe herself, as this will keep her in pristine working condition.

CAUTION: Do NOT attempt to bathe the NYNAEVE© unit even before activation, as we have discovered in testing that your model has the extraordinary ability to activate herself, and will swiftly bodily throw you against the wall, resulting in possible injury/death. **_This company is not responsible for hospital fees due to this attempt._**

**OPERATING PROCEDURE**

Your NYNAEVE© has been designed to be user friendly, which means that her temper has been toned down some. Her controls are voice activated. Please state your instructions clearly in English.

**IMPORTANT WARNING: This product is potentially dangerous and will sometimes spontaneously attack. Your NYNAEVE© unit has been equipped with a warning system. If she begins to tug her braid, move safely out of a 100 feet radius, and/or hide under a bush, couch cushion, or nearest LAN WARDER© unit.**

You might have your own ideas about the services that you would like your NYNAEVE© to provide and the location in which such procedures should be carried out, but we recommend that you NOT, under any circumstances, use your model for anything other than the intended purposes, unless you happen to be one of the last Malkieri and be named Lan. However, she can be utilized in a few capacities about the house:

**Nurse**

Are your children injured or suffering from bruises and/or comas? No matter what your ailment, our NYNAEVE© can cure it with her abilities with _saidar. _Some of our NYNAEVE© models may only enable this feature when they are extremely angry, so do not be concerned if your unit throws a temper tantrum prior to caring for your children.

Note: Your NYNAEVE© unit is not as versatile for household uses as your other models you may have used in the past, including ERIK™ and MAT©. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO USE THIS MODEL FOR OTHER USES LISTED FOR DIFFERENT MODELS.

**COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS**

Your NYNAEVE© unit is not compatible with most units, except for our LAN and EGWENE units, and occasionally our RAND© and ELAYNE© model. However, use of the MAT©, MOIRAINE© or other AES SEDAI© models is not recommended under any circumstance.

**PRECAUTIONS**

Do not expose your NYNAEVE© to fire, strong magnetic fields, electricity, or excessive humidity.

If you wish to moderate the temper of your NYNAEVE© unit, you may wish to purchase a LAN WARDER© unit, though this may also result in your units ignoring you completely – though the household will be much quieter.

**CLEANING**

NYNAEVE© does not appreciate being washed UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS PROCEDURE UNLESS YOU HOPE TO SUFFER BODILY DISCOMFORT. She will keep herself clean without any help, so do not worry about her hygiene. You may need to show her how to use the shower, but then she will be able to handle it by herself.

**FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS**

**Q:** My NYNAEVE© model has suddenly begun muttering about taking revenge and shooting me nasty glances. What is going on?

**A:** Look at the enclosed photo. Do you resemble any of the attached persons (including Moghedien and Moiraine). If so, you may wish to return your model as swiftly as possible for either a refund or your choice of a new model, as these characters are set as Enemies in Nynaeve's programming.

**Q:** My NYNAEVE© has been spending less and less time with me and more in the basement. What's wrong?

**A:** Has she come in contact with any LAN WARDER© units? If so, she is probably mooning over him, out of sight. Leave her alone and let this romance run its course, or simply dispose of the LAN© unit as quietly as possibly. If not, you may have been sent a Moghedien model by mistake. SEND HER BACK AT ONCE. This model is a flawed edition and possibly dangerous.

**Q:** My Nynaeve has fangs! What is the matter with her?

**A:** SEND YOUR MODEL BACK, IMMEDIATELY. Due to the unfortunate temper of the NYNAEVE© unit, there have been some mutant models with a tendency for spontaneous violence and vampire-esque habits. If you note missing pets and/or children, CALL OUR HOTLINE IMMEDIATELY, after locking the model firmly in an enclosed space.

**TROUBLESHOOTING**

**Problem:** My NYNAEVE© has eloped with my LAN WARDER©! What should I do?

**Solution:** Do nothing, and send for a full refund. Some models go to extreme measures for true love.

**Problem:** My husband/wife/partner is in the hospital with a coma, due to her NYNAEVE unit, and said unit is broken. They got in a fight over whether MAT© or LAN© units were hotter. Can I get a refund?

**Solution:** Unfortunately, no. Due to the NYNAEVE© unit's violent tendencies, we do not allow refunds. However, we will note that your wife may be better off with one of our milder models, such as MAT©, or PERRIN©. NYNAEVE© is recommended only for those completely lacking in tempers or those able to control NYNAEVE's© strong temperament.

**Problem:** How do I control my NYNAEVE©?

**Solution: **In the case of an uncontrollable NYNAEVE©, you may use the enclosed rope to secure your unit before deactivation.

**FINAL NOTE**

Unfortunately, your NYNAEVE© unit has no guarantee, due to this new models unreliability. If this is not satisfactory, or if for any reason you are not satisfied, please send your NYNAEVE©'s receipt of purchase WITH A WRITTEN LETTER OF YOUR PROBLEM via Alaska Airlines to:

COMPLAINTS OFFICE

P.O. Box 700

Randland, Norway

Or call at 1-866-375-WOT-COMP ext. NYKILL

And our NYNAEVE© secretary will be glad to either replace or refund your product at an equal value.


	4. Aviendha Unit

_A/N: There once was a girl who loved Mat_

_Now what do you think about that?_

_She borrowed this story_

_From Theresa Green and her lorry_

_So at her computer she sat. (and wrote.)_

_**CONGRATULATIONS**!_

You are now the proud owner of our brand new AVIENDHA© unit (by the people that brought you the RAND, MAT, and NYNAEVE© units)! In order to obtain top performance from your AVIENDHA© unit, please follow the procedures detailed in this manual to use your new Wisdom to her full potential.

Your AVIENDHA© unit should arrive fully assembled BUT DEACTIVATED. Please check that you have all her accessories (see specially chosen list below). Currently there are two versions of this new creation (though more may be produced in the future):

AVIENDHA MAIDEN OF THE SPEAR© v. 1.1 (Copyright Robert Jordan, 1990)

AVIENDHA WISE ONE© v. 1.2 (Copyright Robert Jordan, 1990)

NOTE: As this is one of our first female models, please follow the instructions carefully. This model is primarily recommended for females (see Troubleshooting).

**TECHNICAL** **SPECIFICATIONS**

**v. 1.1**

Name: _Aviendha of the Nine Valleys Sept of the Taardad Aiel_

Type: _Human _

Manufacturers: _Rhuidean Inc._

Date of Manufacture:_1990_

Description: _short red hair w/ tail, about 5'8". Approximately 20 years old._

**v. 1.2**

Name: _Aviendha of the Nine Valleys Sept of the Taardad Aiel_

Type: _Human _

Manufacturers: _Rhuidean Inc._

Date of Manufacture:_1990_

Description: _red hair shoulder length, about 5'8". Approximately 20 years old._

**ACCESSORIES**

Your AVIENDHA© v. 1.1 will arrive in authentic Maiden Garb. She should arrive with the following accessories. Check, again, if you have received the correct version.

**v. 1.1**

Spears and buckler

_Shoufa_

Ivory bracelet w/ Roses

Your AVIENDHA© unit will arrive in her condition of travel worn. It is recommended that you activate her and allow her to bathe herself, as this will keep her in pristine working condition.

CAUTION: Do NOT attempt to bathe the AVIENDHA© unit even before activation, as we have discovered in testing that your model has the extraordinary ability to activate herself, and will swiftly bodily throw you against the wall, resulting in possible injury/death. **_This company is not responsible for hospital fees due to this attempt._**

**OPERATING PROCEDURE**

Your AVIENDHA© has been designed to be user friendly, which means that her temper has been toned down some. Her controls are voice activated. Please state your instructions clearly in English.

**IMPORTANT WARNING: Due to advances in technology, our models have advanced in their similarity to their characters, which means that the AVIENDHA© model may be UNPREDICTABLE AND POSSIBLY DANGEROUS. Please use extreme caution in processes which may appear threatening to your unit.**

You might have your own ideas about the services that you would like your AVIENDHA© to provide and the location in which such procedures should be carried out, but we recommend that you NOT, under any circumstances, use your model for anything other than the intended purposes, unless you happen to resemble one of the enclosed photographs (i.e. our MIN©, ELAYNE© or RAND© models). Use of the former, however, is not recommended except under special circumstances, and/or if the SLASH setting is on. However, she can be utilized in a few capacities about the house (all versions):

**Detective/Spy**

AVIENDHA©'s abilities at Reading Residues make her extremely useful in cases that baffle the ordinary police, due to involvement of _saidar. _Also, her ability to disguise herself and withstand pain make her uses as a spy incredible, to say the least.

**Companion**

Leaving your children home alone? With AVIENDHA© for company, they will never be bored. She'll have them running laps around the neighborhood and battling Trollocs in no time! Your children may be quieter and more well behaved after spending time with the AVIENDHA© unit, and they'll learn to be excited about learning as she teaches them about the discipline of a Maiden of the Spear (v. 1.1) or a Wise One (v. 1.2). If you are lucky, she might even teach your older daughters how to use a spear and learn Maiden hand talk. Soon your children will be wearing _shoufas_ and be better behaved than ever!

Note: Your AVIENDHA© unit is not as versatile for household uses as your other models you may have used in the past, including ERIK™ and MAT©. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO USE THIS MODEL FOR OTHER USES LISTED FOR DIFFERENT MODELS.

**COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS**

Your AVIENDHA© unit is not compatible with most units, except for our EGWENE© unit, RAND© unit and the RFC© set (Min, Elayne, and Aviendha units). However use of the MAT©, MOIRAINE© or other AES SEDAI© models is not recommended under any circumstance. All AIEL© models are compatible with this unit.

**PRECAUTIONS**

Do not expose your AVIENDHA© to fire, strong magnetic fields, electricity, or excessive humidity.

If you wish to moderate the temper of your AVIENDHA© unit, you may wish to purchase a RAND© unit and/or a ELAYNE© unit, though this may also result in your units ignoring you completely – though the household will be much quieter.

**CLEANING**

AVIENDHA© does not appreciate being washed UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS PROCEDURE UNLESS YOU HOPE TO SUFFER BODILY DISCOMFORT. She will keep herself clean without any help, so do not worry about her hygiene. You may need to show her how to use the shower, but then she will be able to handle it by herself.

**FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS**

**Q:** My AVIENDHA© model has suddenly started flirting with my spouse/partner. She seems very attached to them and is all but ignoring me! What has happened?

**A:** Does your spouse resemble RAND©? Are the SLASH settings on, if you are male and your spouse is not? Your AVIENDHA© seems to have connected your partner with one of her character loves. You may wish, if this is a problem, to get rid of either unit or spouse as quietly as possible. If it is not, let them enjoy their love, as long as it lasts!

**Q:** My AVIENDHA© is pregnant! What's with that?

**A:** Congratulations! You have received a rare FUTURISTIC MODEL. She will likely have quadruplets that will be the sons of the RAND© unit. WARNING: This unit is undeveloped and may have unforeseen complications.

**Q:** My AVIENDHA© has fangs! What is the matter with her?

**A:** SEND YOUR MODEL BACK, IMMEDIATELY. You have received a dangerous crossbreed of the NYNAEVE and AVIENDHA models. Due to the unfortunate temper of the NYNAEVE© unit and the reflexes and fighting ability of the AVIENDHA© unit, this unusual mutant model has a tendency for spontaneous violence and vampire-esque habits. If you note missing pets and/or children, CALL OUR HOTLINE IMMEDIATELY, after locking the model firmly in an enclosed space. THIS IS NOT A COLLECTOR'S ITEM. **This company is not responsible for injuries inflicted by improper keeping of this mutation.**

**NOTE: AVIENDHA© units, while unpredictable, may be useful in control of some of the more flighty models, including NYNAEVE© and ELAYNE© units. If you have both an AVIENDHA© unit and one of the former, fights may occasionally break out. DO NOT BE ALARMED. This is normal behavior, and no injury should be sustained. However, if these tussles take on a sexual air, you may wish to check if your SLASH settings have been inadvertently turned on.**

**FINAL NOTE**

Unfortunately, your AVIENDHA© unit has no guarantee, due to this new models unreliability. If this is not satisfactory, or if for any reason you are not satisfied, please send your AVIENDHA©'s receipt of purchase WITH A WRITTEN LETTER OF YOUR PROBLEM via Alaska Airlines to:

COMPLAINTS OFFICE

P.O. Box 700

Randland, Norway

Or call at 1-866-375-WOT-COMP ext. AVIEND

And our AVIENDHA© secretary will be glad to either replace or refund your product at an equal value.


	5. Berelain Unit

_ **CONGRATULATIONS**!_

You are now the proud owner of our brand new BERELAIN© unit (by the people that brought you the ERIK, LEGOLAS, and BOROMIR© units)! In order to obtain top performance from your BERELAIN© unit, please follow the procedures detailed in this manual to use your new Sexy Mayener Flirt™ to her full potential.

Your BERELAIN© unit should arrive fully assembled. Please check that you have all heraccessories (see specially chosen list below). Please follow the instructions below toyou're your Sexy Mayener Queen™ to her full potential. Currently there is only one version of this new creation (though more may be produced in the future):

BERELAIN© v. 1.1 (Copyright Robert Jordan, 1990)

**TECHNICAL** **SPECIFICATIONS**

Name: Berelain

Type: _Human _

Manufacturers: Queen of Mayene Corporations

Date of Manufacture:_1990_

Description: about 5'10", pale, black hair. Comes with the removable Diadem of the First™, authentically detailed.

**ACCESSORIES**

Your BERELAIN© unit will arrive in a crate roughly in the shape of a golden hawk. She will be fully clothed in authentic clothing and comes with the accessories of:

Aforementioned Diadem of the First™

A full escort of the Winged Guards

Several silk dresses in various low cut/sheer styles

Authentic copy of Twisted Red Doorway™

Your BERELAIN© unit will arrive to you in her factory condition of travel stained. It is recommended that you immediately remove her clothing and put her into a hot soapy bubble bath. This will keep her moving parts in pristine condition and fully functional.

CAUTION Married/committed BERELAIN owners **must** ensure that their spouses are otherwise engaged in dangerous and/or engaging activities, such as crocodile hunting, television watching, or Sims 2 before carrying out this procedure. This company is not held responsible for divorce costs due to careless execution of any of the following procedures in the company of jealous housemates.

NOTE: THE BATHING PROCEDURES AFOREMENTIONED ARE FOR **MALE **OWNERS ONLY, unless the SLASH settings are on.

**OPERATING PROCEDURE**

Your BERELAIN© has been designed to be user-friendly and efficient, which means that her temperament has experienced no changes Her controls are voice activated. Please state your instructions clearly in English.

You might have your own ideas about the services that you would like your BERELAIN© to provide and the location in which such procedures should be carried out, which will not be mentioned here as young children could get a hold of this packet. He can also be utilized in several capacities about the house:

**Confidence Booster: **

If your child is shy and/or antisocial, our BERELAIN© unit is very good at boosting the confidence of young women of all ages. With her shameless self confidence and pride in her body, she will also teach girls to have a great body image and be proud of their figures! Side effects of this usage may include a slight tendency to flirt with every boy in sight and the possibility of being labeled a slut.

**Husband Stealer:**

If you covet the husband/wife of your next door neighbor, BERELAIN© will willingly woo them away from you. Her specialties are already married men; SLASH settings must be on for use with wives. The BERELAIN© unit shows little to no interest in bachelors. To turn on this usage, merely present BERELAIN© with the challenge of gaining the lust of the partner in question. Unfortunately, sometimes the object of this action will, afterward, show no interest in you, so you may have to lock the unit in a closet while you turn on your charms.

**NOTE: **THIS MODEL IS NOT RECOMMENDED FOR USAGE IN HOUSES CONTAINING YOUNG AND IMPRESSIONABLE CHILDREN.

**COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS**

You will find that your BERELAIN© unit is compatible with other Wheel of Time units, including AES SEDAI ANNOURA, unmarried/un-Faile-exposed PERRIN units, and most TAIREN LORD units©. The only units we do not recommend for use with your BERELAIN© unit are RAND© and FAILE units, in addition to MARRIED/FAILE-EXPOSED PERRIN© units, both of which aggravate your BERELAIN© unit and lower her level of happiness, thus making her performance less satisfactory. Ocaisionally the BERELAIN© units may get along with married PERRIN© units, but **NEVER **expose your BERELAIN© to a FAILE© unit. **THEIR SETTINGS ARE SET TO DEADLY ENMITY, AND THEY WILL INSTANTLY ATTEMPT TO KILL EACH OTHER. **Exposure to RAND© units are also not recommended, as she tends to trigger random bubbles of evil, and due to the danger of insanity.

**PRECAUTIONS**

Do not expose your BERELAIN© to fire, strong magnetic fields, electricity, or excessive humidity.

We advise that you not expose BERELAIN© to a GALAD© unit, as, THOUGH THIS IS NOT YET DETERMINED FOR CERTAIN, many BERELAIN© models have a tendency to seek out these Gallant Whitecloak™ units and run off with them to get married. More recent manufactures of v. 1.1 tend to do this more often. We hope to have this corrected in the upcoming v. 1.2.

**CLEANING**

BERELAIN© does not require frequent washing, but if you insist on washing her, She will enjoy it immensely, especially if you are male and/or the SLASH setting is on, in which case she will do a great deal of splashing and giggling and attempts to encourage you to join in and help. Those unprepared to deal with this are advised to allow BERELAIN© units to clean themselves.

**FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS**

**Q:** My BERELAIN© has disappeared, and I found a bloody knife in my FAILE© unit's bedroom! What happened to her?

**A:** Whatever possessed you to keep a BERELAIN© and a FAILE© unit in the same house? The two are deadly enemies, as aforementioned, and it is, unfortunately, most likely that your BERELAIN© is dead by now. I am afraid we cannot refund the loss of a BERELAIN© due to a FAILE© owned by the same person taking her due revenge.

**Q: **My BERELAIN© keeps telling dirty jokes, and now my 6 year old daughter is repeating them! What can I do?

**A: **You have received a newly made BIRGITTE© model by mistake. Please send her back immediately, as this version has some strange traits that must be fixed before official release. If you have a small child in the house, rather than the rather adult BERELAIN© unit, may we instead recommend the milder MAT© units? While still more mature, MAT©'s temperament, language and behavior may be toned down for younger children.

**Q: **My BERELAIN© can channel, and is trying to kill me! Is this a new version?

**A: SEND YOUR MODEL BACK IMMEDIATELY. **You have accidentally received a rare LANFEAR© unit (no longer produced) that is extremely volatile, dangerous, and unpredictable. We recommend that you immediately lock the unit in a dark, enclosed space, douse her with chloroform, and call the hotline for our trained FORSAKEN DISPATCH team. (**1-800-FORS-DISP ext. LANF: **FORSAKEN DISPATCH HOTLINE)

**FINAL NOTE**

Because of the few small kinks of the newly manufactured BERELAIN© unit, we have decided that we will guarantee the working condition of this product for approximately **30 MORE YEARS **or **UNTIL TARMON GAIDON. **If for any reason you are not satisfied, please send your BERELAIN© WITH A WRITTEN LETTER OF YOUR PROBLEM via Alaska Airlines to:

COMPLAINTS OFFICE

P.O. Box 700

Randland, Norway

Or call at 1-866-375-WOT-COMP ext. BER

And we will either replace or refund your product at an equal value.


	6. Elayne Unit

_A/N: Sorry, in this chapter I sort of pick on her. She is not one of my favorite characters. But I still wuv her. Anyway. Mostly. Most of the time. Heh. _

_**CONGRATULATIONS**!_

You are now the proud owner of our brand new ELAYNE© unit (by the people that brought you the NYNAEVE, RAND, and AVIENDHA© units)! In order to obtain top performance from your ELAYNE© unit, please follow the procedures detailed in this manual to use your new Daughter-Heir of Andor™ to her full potential.

Your ELAYNE© unit should arrive fully assembled. Please check that you have all her accessories (see specially chosen list below). Currently there are three versions of this new creation (though more may be produced in the future):

ELAYNE© v. 1.1 (Copyright Robert Jordan, 1990)

ELAYNE© v. 1.2 (Copyright Robert Jordan, 1990)

ELAYNE© v. 1.3 (Copyright Robert Jordan, 1990)

**TECHNICAL****SPECIFICATIONS**

**v. 1.1**

Name: Elayne

Type: _Human _

Manufacturers: House Trakand International (HTI)™

Date of Manufacture:_1990_

Description: beautiful, red hair, blue eyes, about 5'6".

**v. 1.2**

Name: Elayne

Type: _Human _

Manufacturers: House Trakand International (HTI)™

Date of Manufacture:_1990_

Description: beautiful, blonde hair, blue eyes, about 5'6".

**v. 1.3**

Name: Elayne

Type: _Human _

Manufacturers: House Trakand International (HTI)™

Date of Manufacture:_1990_

Description: beautiful, red-gold hair, blue eyes, about 5'6".

**ACCESSORIES**

Your ELAYNE© unit will arrive in a crate roughly in the shape of Andor. She will be fully clothed in authentic clothing and comes with the accessories of:

gold lily sigil

Trakand Keystone pin

assortment of dresses

_ter'angreal _ring

Your ELAYNE© unit will arrive to you in her factory condition of squeaky clean. It is not recommended that you remove her clothing or attempt to bathe her until she is activated, when she should do so by herself.

CAUTION Married/committed ELAYNE owners **must** ensure that their spouses are otherwise engaged in dangerous and/or engaging activities, such as crocodile hunting, television watching, or Sims 2 before carrying out this procedure. This company is not held responsible for divorce costs due to careless execution of any of the following procedures in the company of jealous housemates.

NOTE: Unless you resemble one of the contained photographs, do not bathe your ELAYNE© unit **EITHER BEFORE OR AFTER ACTIVATION. **This unit also possesses the unique ability, like the NYNAEVE© unit, to activate herself and remove you bodily from any room if she does not wish you there. (If you do resemble one of the females, check that settings are to SLASH before you attempt this. **This company is not liable for injuries due to improper handling of units.**

**OPERATING PROCEDURE**

Your ELAYNE© has been designed to be user-friendly and efficient, which means that her abilities with _saidar _may or may not be activated, depending on your preferences. For advice on handling a _saidar _using model, see our enclosed pamphlet, _Saidar and You: Owning and Controlling Channeling Models._ Her controls are voice activated. Please state your instructions clearly in English.

You might have your own ideas about the services that you would like your ELAYNE© to provide and the location in which such procedures should be carried out, which will not be mentioned here as young children could get a hold of this packet. However, this is **NOT RECOMMENDED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES **, unless you resemble one of the contained photographs. (If you do resemble one of the females, check that settings are to SLASH before you attempt anything.) **This company is not liable for injuries due to improper handling of units. **She can, however, be utilized in several capacities about the house:

**Babysitter: **

Your ELAYNE© unit's natural bossy streak will enable her to boss around your children when you are gone, and to exert unusual control over them. If they are addressing her as "Daughter-Heir" or "My Lady" by the end of the day, do not be surprised! This is part of this use of the ELAYNE© unit – your children will have unusually good manners.

**Making _Ter'angreal_:**

Are you looking for that special something for that unique person in your life? Search no more! Your ELAYNE© unit is capable of making all kinds of unique and magical, one-of-a-kind gifts that you cannot find in any store! Enjoy the wonder of discovering how to use these unique objects. **Some _ter'angreal _may be harmful to your/your husband/wife/partner's health. Consult your manual before using this capability.**

**Housecleaner:**

If you are having trouble keeping your house clean, simply turn no farther from home than your very own ELAYNE© unit. You will need to activate her capabilities with _saidar_, but then she will clean your house, children, and clothing from top to bottom with the use of _saidar _and/or that of a retinue (see Troubleshooting).

**NOTE: Caution is advised, as with all units, when attempting to use this model for something other than the uses listed. Again, this company is not liable for hospital fees due to improper handling.**

**COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS**

You will find that your ELAYNE© unit is compatible with other Wheel of Time units, including AVIENDHA, EGWENE, and MIN units©. The only units we do not recommend for use with your ELAYNE© unit are NYNAEVE and GALAD units, both of which aggravate your ELAYNE© unit and lower her level of happiness, thus making her performance less satisfactory.

**PRECAUTIONS**

Do not expose your ELAYNE© to fire, strong magnetic fields, electricity, or excessive humidity.

We advise that you not expose ELAYNE© to a RAND© unit, as they will eventually fall in love and recent ELAYNE© models have been getting pregnant unexpectedly (if this happens, call and inform the hotline at the end of this manual – complications may arise).

**CLEANING**

ELAYNE© does not require frequent washing, but if you insist on washing her, she will wash herself. If you resemble her sister, AVIENDHA©, you may attempt to join her in the bath, but see WARNING under Technical Specifications

**FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS**

**Q:** Servants in livery have begun appearing all over my house. What is happening?

**A:** If your ELAYNE© does not feel that she is being treated in an adequate manner for the Daughter-Heir, she has a unique ability to summon/create a retinue for herself. While this may be slightly annoying at first, it is really quite useful. They do not require much room, and you will find that they will do almost any chores! You need not pay them – ELAYNE© units will handle this on their own.

**Q: **My ELAYNE© is acting very peculiar, and she seems a bit plump/old. Do I have the right model?

**A: **Lock your model in a closet and send all children/small animals to a safe place before calling our FORSAKEN HOTLINE (1-800-FORS-DIS ext. GDAL). You have been sent a GRAENDAL© model by mistake. This line was attempted for a short while, but due to increasing rampages of malfunctioning models, they have been removed from the market. We will refund your full purchase or send you a model of your choice, along with a complimentary Wheel of Time package. Sorry for any inconvenience this has caused.

**Q: **My Elayne is closeting herself with my AVIENDHA© unit for hours! What is going on?

**A: **First, check to insure that the SLASH settings are not on. If they are, surreptitiously turn them off while your units are not looking. If they are not on, this is normal behavior, as the pair are adopted sisters. If this is not okay, you may wish to get rid of one of the models as quietly as possible, so your ELAYNE© will continue to pay attention to you also.

**TROUBLESHOOTING**

**Problem:** My ELAYNE© is pregnant!

**Solution:** Has she come into contact with a RAND© unit? If she has, then her life is following its normal course, though you may wish to restrict contact with RAND© units, due to the dangers of insanity/imminent FORSAKEN units. If not, then congratulations! You have been chosen to receive a rare new v. 1.4 model, or 'pregnant Elayne.' Side effects of possessing this unit include slight congestion (of the unit), tendency to be temperamental, and the possibility of abduction by Darkfriends.

**Problem: **My unit has a cold! What should I do?

**Solution: **Are there additional symptoms (i.e. fever, coughing, lethargy)? If so, your unit has the rare COLD OF TIME, a disease specific to Wheel of Time units. Send her to the address listed at the end of this manual, after deactivation, and we will give her the antidote and return her cured in no time! In addition, you will receive a free hospital gown, "get well" balloon, a Certificate of Health, and a box of Wheel of Time™ band-aids.1 If not, then it is a normal part of owning an ELAYNE© unit, and is simply part of her personality, known as 'sniffing.' Get used to it – soon it will become an endearing part of owning your unit!

**FINAL NOTE**

Because of the possibility of complications of the ELAYNE© unit, we have decided that we will guarantee the working condition of this product until Tarmon Gai'don or end of pregnancy. If for any reason you are not satisfied, please send your ELAYNE© WITH A WRITTEN LETTER OF YOUR PROBLEM via Alaska Airlines to:

COMPLAINTS OFFICE

P.O. Box 700

Randland, Norway

Or call at 1-866-375-WOT-COMP ext. SNIFF

And we will either replace or refund your product at an equal value.

* * *

1 – _Couldn't resist the American Girl Doll reference here. Heh._


	7. FORSAKEN UNIT WARNING

**WARNING TO ALL OWNERS OF WHEEL OF TIME© UNITS:**

SIGHTINGS OF FORSAKEN UNITS ON THE LOOSE HAVE BEEN REPORTED IN THE AREAS OF CHICAGO, NEW YORK, SEATTLE, SAN FRANCISCO, AND CLARENCE. IF YOU SEE ANYTHING RESEMBLING ONE OF THE ENCLOSED PHOTOGRAPHS, IMMEDIATELY LOCK YOURSELF, SMALL ANIMALS, CHILDREN, AND ALL UNITS INDOORS AND CLOSE ALL WINDOWS/BLINDS. THESE UNITS ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, VOLATILE, AND UNPREDICTABLE. IF YOU SUSPECT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SENT A FORSAKEN© UNIT BY MISTAKE, IMMEDIATELY DISABLE YOUR UNIT AND CALL OUR FORSAKEN HOTLINE LISTED BELOW. UNITS KNOWN TO BE ON THE LOOSE ARE:

LANFEAR/CYNDANE (ext. LANF)

MORIDIN (ext. MAD)

GRAENDAL (ext. GDAL)

MESAANA (ext. WTOW)

SEMIRHAGE (ext. PAIN)

DEMANDRED (ext. TAIM)1

ARAN'GAR/BALTHAMEL (ext. LUST)

ALSO: These units are now OFF THE LINE, i.e. NO LONGER PRODUCED. Please stop trying to order them! Thank you for your cooperation.

**HOTLINES:**

1-800-FORS-DISP + ext.

1 – _Yes, I know that he's not actually. Probably. Taim. But still. They are, like _THE SAME. _It's weird. But whatev._


	8. Faile Unit

_ **CONGRATULATIONS**!_

You are now the proud owner of our brand new FAILE© unit (by the people that brought you the NYNAEVE, AVIENDHA, and ELAYNE© units)! In order to obtain top performance from your FAILE© unit, please follow the procedures detailed in this manual to use your new Falcon™ to her full potential.

Your FAILE© unit should arrive fully assembled. Please check that you have all heraccessories (see specially chosen list below). Currently there is only one version of this new creation (though more may be produced in the future):

FAILE© v. 1.1 (Copyright Robert Jordan, 1990)

**TECHNICAL** **SPECIFICATIONS**

Name: Faile

Type: _Human _

Manufacturers: Saldaen Farmgirls, Inc.

Date of Manufacture:_1990_

Description: black, shoulder-length hair, large, bold nose, a generous mouth, high cheekbones and dark, slightly tilted eyes. About 5'11.

**ACCESSORIES**

Your FAILE© unit will arrive in a crate roughly in the shape of a broken crown. She will be fully clothed in authentic clothing and comes with the accessories of:

BAIN© unit

CHIAD© unit

CHA FAILE© units

Various dresses

Your FAILE© unit will arrive to you in his factory condition of travel-stained. It is **NOT **recommended that you immediately remove her clothing and put her into a hot soapy bubble bath. **THIS COMPANY IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HOSPITAL FEES DUE TO IMPROPER HANDLING. **

CAUTION **Never, ever, ever attempt to bathe your FAILE© unit under any circumstances unless you ARE the PERRIN© unit. FAILE© units are potentially violent and may kill everything within sight when angered. Even when disarmed, FAILE© units have the property of becoming magnetized, whether or not they are activated, and attracted all sharp metal objects to them. DO NOT BATHE YOUR FAILE© UNIT! Thank you.**

**OPERATING PROCEDURE**

Your FAILE© has been designed to be user-friendly and efficient, which means that her temper has been toned down. However, when FAILE© units are angered, they become volatile and unpredictable, and difficult to control. This unit is not recommended for households with small children or pets Her controls are voice activated. Please state your instructions clearly in Common or English.

You might have your own ideas about the services that you would like your FAILE© to provide and the location in which such procedures should be carried out, which **SHOULD NOT BE ATTEMPTED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES**. She can, however, be utilized in a few capabilities around the house.

**Hunter for the Horn: **

Looking for the Horn of Valere? Have no fear! Faile will lead you to a Perrin unit, who can instruct you on where to find the famed Horn.

**S&M Moviemaking:**

To program this ability of FAILE©'s, simply convince her that your PERRIN© is watching a BERELAIN© unit with interest. Corner them in his bedroom, set up a video camera, and let the millions roll in!

**NOTE: ** **DO NOT ATTEMPT TO USE FAILE© units FOR ANY OTHER USES. NOT. RESPONSIBLE. FOR. BODILY. DAMAGE. Thank you. **

**COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS**

You will find that your FAILE© unit is NOT compatible with other Wheel of Time units, including BERELAIN, RAND, and SEVANNA units©. The only units we do recommend for use with your FAILE© unit are included BAIN and CHIAD© units, and the PERRIN© units. Occasionally BERELAIN units may be used if SLASH settings are on, but DO NOT ATTEMPT ANY OTHER MODEL COMBINATIONS WITH YOUR UNIT WITHOUT FIRST CONSULTING OUR HANDBOOK, _Wheel of Time Units and You: Relationships for Dummies._

**PRECAUTIONS**

Do not expose your FAILE© to fire, strong magnetic fields, electricity, or excessive humidity.

We advise that you not expose FAILE© to a PERRIN© unit, as she will eventually fall in love and get married**. Due to the frequency of this occurrence, we are no longer offering refunds for married/otherwise attached FAILE© units.**

**CLEANING**

FAILE© does not require frequent washing, but if you insist on washing her, she will bathe herself. Under no circumstances should you attempt to bathe her, unless, as noted above, you are a PERRIN© unit.

**FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS**

**Q:** Why is it that everybody says that FAILE© units are sadists? I've had one for years, and never seen any sign of violence!

**A:** Either you do not have a PERRIN© unit to trigger the units temper, or she has never seen a BERELAIN© unit. If you have a PERRIN© unit, and the FAILE© unit does not seem interested in him, DISACTIVATE HER IMMEDIATELY. You may have received a FORSAKEN© unit by accident.

**TROUBLESHOOTING**

**Problem:** I have two PERRIN© units, because he is my favorite character. But then I got a FAILE© unit to try to make them happier, and now all they do is fight over her! Help!

**Solution:** You have two options: get another FAILE© unit so that both PERRIN© units can have a wife, or simply pull up a chair and let them duke it out to see who wins. **CAUTION: If they destroy each other, you will receive no refund. **

**FINAL NOTE**

Because of the temperamental quality of the FAILE© unit, we have decided that we will guarantee the working condition of this product for approximately 40 more years, or until Tarmon Gai'don. If for any reason you are not satisfied, please send your FAILE© WITH A BOTTLE OF CHLOROFORM AND A WRITTEN LETTER OF YOUR PROBLEM via Alaska Airlines to:

COMPLAINTS OFFICE

P.O. Box 700

Randland, Norway

Or call at 1-866-375-WOT-COMP ext. S&M

And we will either replace or refund your product at an equal value.


	9. Make Your Own Aes Sedai

_ **CONGRATULATIONS**!_

You are now the owner of the NEW Wheel of Time™ MAKE YOUR OWN AES SEDAI kit. Enclosed you will find all the specifications necessary to begin the creation of your very own One Power user.

Once you have filled out all the enclosed forms, please send it with the postmarked envelope included with this kit to us, and allow three weeks for delivery of your brand new AES SEDAI© unit.

**Fill out all forms before returning this packet.**

**ACCESSORIES**

Whatever Aes Sedai you choose will come equipped with the following necessary items. Please check to insure that you have received all items.

Great Serpent Ring

Shawl in appropriate Ajah color

_Saidar and You _Handbook

Various dresses

Your AES SEDAI© unit will arrive in the factory condition of squeaky clean. Do NOT attempt to bathe your unit until you read through the entire operating manual enclosed with the unit.

**STEP ONE: Pick an Ajah**

The first step necessary in constructing your AES SEDAI© model is picking their Ajah. There is a choice of Yellow, Blue, Green, Red, Brown, White, or Grey, each with their own general personality and focus. Below are brief profiles of each Ajah to aid you in your choice:

**Ajah: **Yellow

**Motive: **The study of Healing.

**Most Likely to Say: **"Plants? Psh."

**Must Haves: **Desire to Heal anything and everything.

**Best for: **Households with accident-prone children.

**Famous Yellows: **Nynaeve al'Meara, Samitsu Tamagowa, Doesine Alwain

**Ajah: **Blue

**Motive: **Manipulators – dedicate themselves to causes.

**Most Likely to Say: **"I could tell you my plan, but then I'd have to kill you."

**Must Haves: **manipulating skillzazors.

**Best for: **Politicians.

**Famous Blues: **Siuan Sanche, Moiraine Damodred, Sheriam Bayanar

**Ajah: **Green

**Motive: **To hold themselves ready for the Last Battle – the Battle Ajah

**Most Likely to Say: **"Be my Warder?"

**Must Haves: **love of men, must be passionate

**Best for: **Adventurous households.

**Famous Greens: **Cadsuane Melaidhrin, Myrelle Barengari, Elayne Trakand

**Ajah: **Red

**Motive: **To hunt down and gentle all men who can channel.

**Most Likely to Say: **"I hate men."

**Must Haves: **hatred of men, focus, determination

**Best for: **Single women.

**Famous Reds: **Elaida a'Roihan, Pevara Tazanovni, Toveine Gazal

**Ajah: **Brown

**Motive: **To search for lost knowledge

**Most Likely to Say: **"What?"

**Must Haves: **ability to ramble, desire for knowledge, semi-obsession with reading

**Best for: **Readers/Scholars

**Famous Browns: **Adeleas Namelle, Verin Mathwin, Nesune Bihara

**Ajah: **White

**Motive: **To find the answers to life's questions via logic – philosophers.

**Most Likely to Say: **"Logically…"

**Must Haves: **ability to distance oneself from emotion, analytical mind

**Best for: **Philosophers.

**Famous Whites: **Seaine Herimon, Serene Nemdahl, Daigian Moseneillin

**Ajah: **Grey

**Motive: **To negotiate arguments – mediators.

**Most Likely to Say: **"Can I help you?"

**Must Haves: **peacemaker, good at negotiations

**Best for: **Argumentative siblings/spouses.

**Famous Grays: **Merana Ambrey, Serancha Colvine, Annoura Larisen

**THE BLACK AJAH UNITS HAVE BEEN DISCONTINUED DUE TO REPEATED SYSTEM MALFUNCTIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION, AND SORRY FOR ANY INCONVIENCE THIS MAY HAVE CAUSED.**

**Ajah of Choice: **

**STEP TWO: Appearance**

**Hair Color (choose one)**

Black

Brown

Blonde

Red

One of the above w/ gray

**Eye Color (choose one)**

Dark

Blue

Light

Green

**Figure (choose one)**

Slender ("boyish")

Plump

Curvy

**Personality (choose all that apply)**

Motherly

Kindly

Sharp-tempered

Fiery

Passionate

Cool

Supercilious

Logical

Distant

Calm

Willful

Vapid

Confused

Distracted

Manipulative

Angry

Beautiful

Icy

Gentle

Vicious

Vengeful

Dedicated

Focused

Intense

Serious

Witty

**STEP THREE: Choose a Homeland**

**NOTES ON LANDS INCLUDED.**

**Saldaea: **

Saldaean women tend to be ferocious and strong willed, with sharp tempers. Features include prominent noses and tilted eyes.

**Kandor/Arafel/Shienar: **Other Borderland countries, somewhat interchangeable.

**Kandori **are known for peculiar ideas about debt and repayment. Well known as merchants.

**Shienarans **value peace, beauty, and life above all else, and are known as particularly fierce fighters. Closely knit culture.

**Andor: **

A strong and influential nation resembling old England.

**Cairhien:**

**Cairhien **are known for their smallness of stature and pale complexions. They are skilled at the Game of Houses, and are expert manipulators. Infamous for their reserve that, when it breaks, does so to a surprising degree.

**Tear:**

Aes Sedai are disliked in Tear, and any girl found to be able to channel is hurried upriver on the next ship. Culture includes a large gap between the nobility and commoners.

**Arad Doman:**

**Domani **women are famed for their beauty and scandalous clothing. They are skilled at trading, and experts at twining men around their fingers.

**Far Madding:**

Primarily known for the domination of women over men – women may order their husband around and expect to be obeyed.

**Tarabon**, **Altara, Mayene, Ghealdan, Murandy **and **Illian **are also available, but not many Aes Sedai come from these countries.

**COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS**

You will find that your AES SEDAI© unit is compatible with other Wheel of Time units, including other AES SEDAI units and all WARDER units©. The only units we do NOT recommend for use with your AES SEDAI© unit are RAND, ASHA'MAN, or MAT units. Also, be cautious of socializing your AES SEDAI© unit with other models of a different Ajah – there are enmities between colors, such as Red and Blue, or Green and Red. BEFORE ATTEMPTING ANY SOCIALIZATION WITH UNITS OF DIFFERENT AJAHS, FIRST CONSULT OUR HANDBOOK, _Wheel of Time Units and You: Relationships for Dummies._

**FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS**

**Q:** I bought a Black Ajah unit before they were discontinued. Should I send it back, and will I get a full refund?

**A:** SEND YOUR MODEL BACK IMMEDIATELY. Due to frequent system malfunctions, these models have been deemed dangerous and unstable. Should the unit prove difficult to remove, call the hotline listed below.

**Q: **My AES SEDAI unit has been wandering around my neighborhood talking to girls of a certain age. Sometimes she brings them home with her, and the neighbors are getting angry! I have tried to explain that this is not allowed, but she doesn't seem to understand…what is going on!

**A: **Your AES SEDAI is searching for girls who can channel and attempting to train them. You may inform the mothers that she is giving them private lessons. If they still protest, we advise that you either get rid of the model or move to a street with no children of ages 12-18. However, if the children she takes have begun acting oddly/out of character, DEACTIVATE YOUR MODEL IMMEDIATELY. You may have received a BLACK AJAH/FORSAKEN model by mistake.

**FINAL NOTE**

Because of the newness of the AES SEDAI© unit, we have decided that we will guarantee the working condition of this product for approximately 300 more years, or until Tarmon Gai'don. If for any reason you are not satisfied, please send your deactivated AES SEDAI© via Alaska Airlines to:

COMPLAINTS OFFICE

P.O. Box 700

Randland, Norway

Or call at 1-866-375-WOT-COMP ext. MEDLRS

And we will either replace or refund your product at an equal value.

**BLACK AJAH HOTLINE: 1-800-ALV-SNSTR**


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